Twas The Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house

Not a shopper was stirring, no clicks of a mouse.

Bright colored stockings were wrapped up with care

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

Fashionistas were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of Prada danced in their heads.

And I in my fancy new Kenneth Cole cap

Had just taken it off for a long winter's nap.

When at my computer arose such a clatter

I slipped on my slippers to see what was the matter.

Away to my laptop I flew like a flash,

Threw on my bathrobe and Ralph Lauren sash.

Stores carried less inventory to avoid clearance,

So recession sales I did not expect appearance

When what to my wondering eyes should appear

But a series of sales to bring Christmas fashion cheer.

More rapid than eagles their price slashes came

With stores so familiar I knew them by name:

Now Target! Now Urban! Now Zappos and Bloomies!

On Etsy! On Levis! On Nine West and Barneys!

To the best of the sale rack let's go to the mall.

Now sale away, sale away, inventory all!

And into my inbox came emails galore

With special sale codes for every store

Guaranteeing free shipping and 10% off,

And buy one get two free to get you to shop.

The websites, how they twinkled, their webpage so merry,

With cashmere now $50 and coats down $170,

And jewelry that last week was too overpriced

Now sat in my web cart, each looking so nice.

I spoke not a word, but went straight to my work

And filled up my credit card, then turned with a jerk

I could not believe all the deals I had grabbed,

I imagined myself looking oh-so-so fab!

I looked over my carts to make sure I was done

And smiled for having had such shopping fun.

And as I checked out I exclaimed in delight

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL! AND TO ALL A GOOD TIGHT!